My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
