you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
