I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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