he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
