Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
His nipple licking is glorious
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