i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
