We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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