Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
