I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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