nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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