Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize