dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
