Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Im just a social blackout drinker.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
