super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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