We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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