I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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