Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
