dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
