I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So much rum. So many feels.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
