____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
