so that wasnt chicken after all
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
