i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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