Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
