oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
