i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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