i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
