i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
