I hate your face
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
