I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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