That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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