is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Let's get the cat blown out
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
