I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
