Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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