Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
