I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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