lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
