i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
