I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
