Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
