More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize