he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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