I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
