Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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