YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
