Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she looked like the before picture.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
