i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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