Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
