she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
