So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
