I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
