Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize