nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
