Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
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