So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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