i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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