Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
