You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
