forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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