I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize