i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
