absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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