I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
