remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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