Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
