I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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