It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Randomize
