she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
