It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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