Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
