i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My ass is underappreciated
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
