Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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