My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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