So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
