I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
